Plots of Cracked Romance
by TheEvilButtButton
Summary: A fanfiction in which Kuroko is a sadist, Kagami is oblivious, everyone is trying to shove the two together, and Midorima reconsiders his lucky items. This is basically a crack fic about Kiyoshi x Kagami, so if you no likey wonderfluffle romance between two hot men, stay away.


**A/N: *Insert nervous laughter here* Oh hey people who might possibly be reading this and wondering who let**

**me near the computer again to spew verbal diarrhea at you. So yeah, in case the summary wasn't enough,**

**ehehe, ****this is a smut fic. You know, um, yaoi? Boy x Boy? One dick being shoved up another guy's ass? So,**

**haha, if you ****don't like that, get the fuck out now and fuck yourself. So, um, haha, sorry!**

**Jamaine: Write the shit, you've done enough smutty things with your other roleplaying friends that this should**

**be easy.**

**Evil: IT'S NOT OKAY**

**Jamaine: SUCH a uke. Too embarrassed to even write smut, tch.**

**Evil: SHUT UP! I AM NOT A UKE! **

**Nepeta: :3 Enjoy this fanfiction while mew can! And don't tell my meowrail I'm here, okay?**

**Terezi: OHHHHH, ROL3PL3Y1NG 3H3H3H3H3**

**Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE, IS THIS JUST SOME STUPID STORY THAT REVOLVES AROUND **

**MAKING TWO PEOPLE PAIL EACH OTHER WITHOUT ANY REGARD FOR ACTUAL QUADRANTS?! WHAT KIND OF **

**HOOFBEAST SHIT IS THIS ANYWAYS**

**Gamzee: CaLm dOwN KaRbrO, YOu LikE RoMaNcE sTuFf, rIghT?**

**Kanaya: The Clown Is Right In This Argument Karkat. You Do Usually Like Romance.**

**Karkat: THEY DON'T EVEN SPECIFY WHAT QUADRANT THESE TWO DOUCHEBAGS ARE IN**

**Rose: Well, that may be because they are humans, like Dave and I. Humans have only one form of love, which**

**is similar to one of your specie's quadrants. You could say that this is matespritship.**

**Dave: shes right. too bad karkles. **

**Terezi: 1 H4D 3XP3CT3D 4 MOR3 S3V3R3 R34CT1ON COOLK1D**

**Dave: rose here writes gay wizard fanfiction all the time. i guess i read too many of them in boredom on this**

**godforsaken rock. im used to it by now.**

**Evil: When the fuc-**

**John: *throws a bucket at vantas***

**Karkat: *Lose it***

**Dave: *Laugh internally while wiggling eyebrows at Terezi***

**Rose: *Do the same thing to Kanaya***

**Gamzee: *Honk***

* * *

><p><span><strong>YesIJustDidThatHahahahaChapterOneIGuess?<strong>

Kuroko calmly sipped at his milkshake, walking beside a fuming Kagami. He noticed (everyone had) that Kiyoshi and

Kagami had a small spark. It was high time someone made the spark grow.

"..And beat his high and mighty ass, the fucking bastard!"

"...Kagami-kun."

"GAHHH, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?!"

"I've been here the entire time Kagami-kun. Please calm down." They carried on this way until they reached their

parting point. After saying their

farewells, Kuroko started walking home. _Maybe I should just put an aphrodisiac in Kagami's burger and lock Kiyoshi and_

_him in the locker room. Yes, I'll do that. But who do I get the aphrodisiac fro-_

"Kurokocchiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

_...Perfect._

* * *

><p><em>"<em>Here you are Kurokocchi! Aphrodisiac!"

"Thank you Kise-kun."

"Why did you want it though?"

"I plan on forcing Kiyoshi to help with Kagami's arousal." Kuroko calmly dodged the spray of soda as Kise gaped at

him. Kise was taking this much better than he feared.

***_Flashback_***

_"Hello Kise-kun. Can I have you help with something?"_

_"Ehhhhh?! Anything for my Kurokocchi!"_

_"Thank yo-"_

_"But, you have to give me something I want!"_

_"...And I suppose you'll tell me what it is now?"_

_"I want Kurokocchi's cute body in my bed forever!" SMACK "OWWWWWW YOU SADIST"_

_"...I'll do it."_

_***__EndSexyFlashback__***_

"cchi?" He blinked as he focused on the blond in front of him.

"What was that Kise-kun?"

"I asked about how you're planning to do this alone. Kagami won't just leave his food unattended long enough to

let you put the aphrodisiac in it."

"That's where you come in."

"Ehhh!?"

* * *

><p>The blue haired male slipped past a distracted Kagami easily while Kise chatted away with the dumbfounded tiger.<p>

Kuroko pulled out the aphrodisiac and carefully placed it one of the rice balls. Satisfied, he turned away and gave

Kise a jab, briefly silencing the man before making the school shake with the explosive screeching of the model.

They heard Kagami grunt and turned to watch him eagerly. Their eagerness went away when Kagami appeared to

be stuffed and gave that rice ball to...

"Thank you Kaga-chin!"

"No problem. Bye guys."

Himuro stopped the giant and pulled out the aphrodisiac, his eyes glinting as he looked at Kise and Kuroko. The

duo gulped and had the same thought float through their minds.

_Oh shit._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA-**

**Yes, I know this sucked. I will try to get better. I have no beta reader, so this all ya get folks! I'm so sorry for**

**being horrible at staying focused and so, so sorry for being a shitty writer. Sorry! The next chapter will consist**

**of ****more crack related adventures, and will hopefully be a little longer. I'll try to make an update system, but I**

**can't ****promise anything to be delivered on time. Sorry! Nice, constructive comments are worshipped greatly,**

**and candy is ****worshipped even more. Ahhhh, lemon sugar slices... *Ahem* So yeah. What are you still doing**

**here? Go read ****something better for now!**


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